8 Kasım 2010 Pazartesi

DUST STORM(GROUP)
    Everything started with archaeological curiosity. We went to Egypt with Archaeology club.

We were so excited to see the historical city but we were disappointed because the city was

dirty, poor and ruined. There was no traffic rule and traffic light and the cars were so old that

they were belong to 1970s.And there was so noisy and there was no malls or shopping centers

just little markets.


    The hotel where we stayed was in bad condition compare to Turkish hotels. We landed in

there day tame there was nobody in city. Because of the deserts high temperature people sleep

all day and were awake at night.


    After resting for a while in the hotel we went to Pyramids with our guide. He gave us

interesting information about pyramids and the most important thing which attracted us was

the turning into the yoghurt in two days inside the pyramid.


    Afterwards we saw a lot of camel. When we asked to people who were there, they said that

there was a camel competition. We decided to attend it. Reading a camel was very enjoyable

and interesting. Although we were untrained, we won the competition, as a price, we won a

free jeep safari.


    In the early morning we set off with our jeep. Everything was on the way until the mind

started. But anyway we kept on our trip after awhile it became stronger and changed into

horrible dust storm. Our visibility was limited highly and we hardly could breath and see. In

order not to got lost we hugged with each other. After one or two hours later we found

ourselves in add place.


    There were hieroglyphics, mummies and strange tombs. At first we didn’t check out what

they were after a while we realized that it was the hidden city! We found the hidden city

which our friends who study archaeology searched for. Dust storm effected us but we

discovered a important thing. It was full at energy and enjoy full.
    
   

            BÜŞRA ÇALIŞKAN
MERVE ATAK
FATMA KARACA
SÜMEYYE NUR ÇELİK
OKAN ÇELİK

4 yorum:

  1. You have written a real good story.The paragraphs are clear (introduction,body and conclusion). But we have found some grammatical mistakes. Besides, we are of the opinion that your part describing the disaster is a little bit short.

    mark: 22

    commented by Cansel ISLEK, Gizem HATIPOGLU and Bengi GÜNGÖR

    YanıtlaSil
  2. hi friend!
    you wrote interesting and creative story
    apart from the mistake and some clauses which are not giving the exact meaninig,it is generally good.we put question remark wken we did not understand the meaning.

    *there was so noisy and there was no malls or shopping centers-There were too much noise and...
    *We landed in
    there day tame there was nobody in city??
    *Because of the deserts high temperature people sleep all day and were awake at night.--desert's and slept all day
    *Reading a came-riding a camel
    *Everything was on the way until the mind
    started.??
    *Dust storm effected-affected
    *a important thing-an important
    *It was full at energy and enjoy full??

    creativity:30
    language,accuracy:15
    cohesion/coherence:20
    overall evaluation:25
    TOTAL:90

    AYŞEN ERASLAN
    SEDA DURUYOL
    SEBAHATTİN ERGÜN
    EVRİM ERTAY

    YanıtlaSil
  3. Hi honey :)
    Firstly your story is really interesting and good,organization is good. sentences are clear,also. I agree with Cansel about describing disaster is too short so it can be more described.

    creativity:30
    language,accuracy:15
    cohesion,coherence:20
    overall evaluation:20
    TOTAL:85

    YanıtlaSil
  4. Eklemeyi unuttum

    YAZGI ÇELİK
    SEMA DİPİ
    ENDER DEMİRCİ
    MERVE DÖNMEZ

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